Sunday, February 20, 2011
The Mother Of All Dreams
Friday night, well actually Saturday morning not long before I woke-up, I had a dream of a large white circle of light. I think I had been in the light, and the light was the place of all knowledge, it was the place everyone strives to be at whether they know it or not. It's the cause and source of all things unknowable and unspeakable past, present, and future that each of us longs for but have no way of expressing—the cause of CS Lewis' sehnsucht. I knew at once that God was a person (because he has knowledge), a place (a circle in this case), and a thing, (light). I experienced the ALL that is in all. And I knew it. I knew it with everything in me. And yet... I could remember nothing of it. It was so frustrating. And yet, I was so full of peace because even though I couldn't remember anything that happened there, I know that, for at least a moment, I had been perfectly content. I knew that all my questions had been answered even if I could no longer remember the questions or the answers either one.
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Been there, done nearly exactly that. How do I describe the feeling...like water passing through my fingers, I could feel it and understand it but not hold onto it or keep anything with me. It happened to me during prayer. I was taken away with a vision of light and a sense of knowledge, not my own but someone's, everyone's, all of it, all at once yet not at all. The light grew increasingly brighter while at the same time compressing on itself. It grew heavier (how did I know this?), smaller and brighter until it became so bright it went out, or away, I really don't know, but I was snapped out of wherever I was and deposited back into the world lightheaded, dazed, emptied and filled.
ReplyDeleteAnd absolutely convinced of the existence of God.
I've heard of other people experiencing things like this. St Theresa wrote about states of being filled with knowledge like that in an instant and then losing it all too. And I had an OBE several years ago where I saw the light just for a second, but I didn't "experience" it, or wasn't in it. This was different. Wild stuff. He ain't no tame lion, that's for sure.
ReplyDeleteI can't even begin to imagine what the real experience of heaven must be. I've had a couple other experiences that changed me forever. When things get really bad or the temptations particularly powerful I go back to them. They serve as verification of my faith in God and reasons to soldier on.
ReplyDeleteI think that's why I was given the grace to see them.
"They serve as verification of my faith in God and reasons to soldier on."
ReplyDeleteActually I kind of think they take away "faith" and move you into the area of "knowing" or something close to it. But yeah, it must be for something like that.